So we have to accept and understand that in the beginning, as we are sort of, you know, greasing our wheels and moving in the direction of good sex it, it might be a little bit awkward for the first 10, 15, 20 minutes. And that’s okay. As long as you have control of yourself in the situation that you at least feel, you have a voice that you can say, “Hey, I wanna change this,” or “can we do more of this, less of this, or I’d like to try this.”
Or, you know, again, depending on the context of the relationship, if it’s somebody that you’re in a longer term relationship with, I encourage people to take turns and, and be able to have pleasure that is solely focused on one person at a time rather than going for this notion of mutual pleasure, because I also think mutual pleasure puts a lot of pressure on people. It is not necessarily something that’s accessible to all people at all times and turn taking can be a wonderful way to circumvent that.
August: As you were describing that I couldn’t help, but think of flashes from like TV shows and movies where pretty much every sex scene is mutual pleasure the whole time.
August: Start to finish. And you do write about and talk about in your book, sex myths and romance culture and how they impact people’s sex lives. Are there any examples of real life couples that you could share?
The sex will be effortless
Cyndi: Who are affected by romance culture. I mean, I think to a degree, a lot of the couples that I work with, probably all of them are affected by this.
And all of us are to a degree I am, and I’m sure you are, or perhaps have been. Because we’ve all grown up in this, this world where we have been told that you’ll find “the one,” and it will be amazing. And when you find the one, the relationship will be effortless.
You’ll just be in sync.